By April 4, 2020

Minimize Exposure, Maximize Humanity


By Chris Prickett — With every crisis comes stories of both great heroism and sheer jackass-ism. While the latter gets most of the press, an occasional “feel good” segment makes the cut. What rarely gets reported is all that stuff in the middle.

As I was waiting in the long line of an overly crowded store the other day, there was an eldery couple at the register, seeming to have a problem. Another lane opened up so I moved on and thought nothing of it.

As I was leaving, I noticed a woman walking back to the store with a 12-pack of toilet paper. I made some silly joke about her needing an armed guard, and she explained that there was an old couple in line who had none and the store was out. She was bringing her own TP back to the store to give to these folks. 

Then there was the guy filling his water bottle with complimentary hand sanitizer. He pumped a full 16 ounces, while sporting a “just try and stop me” face. I’m guessing his next stop was the men’s room for some paper products. As my friend Terry says, “this guy.”

Note to bathroom tissue bandits: Don’t bother coming to my house, I’m a bidet man!

Guess what? Until this COVID-19 thing passes, and like all such things it will, you and I will be not only dealing with various shades of both types, but choosing which side we’re on. 

I’m reminded of the gas crisis in the 1970s. Some people helped others push their cars to the pumps, some siphoned gas from other people’s cars. 

Be smart, listen to the experts (and not the online supposed experts offering potentially dangerous snake oil), and above all, be nice! Minimize exposure and maximize humanity. Take care of yourself and family but don’t forget that we’re all stuck in this snow-globe together.

Toilet Paper Alternative
For about $20 ($40 for a really good one) you can get a hand-held bidet. It’s just a hose with sprayer that attaches to your existing toilet’s incoming water valve—an easy install with a wrench. A portable plastic version that you fill at a faucet is just $10. Either largely replaces the need for toilet paper and is easy on the bum (something anyone with hemorrhoids will appreciate).


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