By May 17, 2017

5 Things That’ll Send You Straight To …

By Chris Prickett — A very wise friend recently said she believes most of us wake up at some point in our mid-20s, look back on life and say, “What the heck was I thinking?” Then we proceed to be (relatively) decent and responsible human beings who contribute to society. Go to work, raise some kids, maybe have a pet or two—just normal, good folk. Nobody’s perfect, and most people try and do the right thing.

The American Psychiatric Association estimates that 3 to 5 percent of the world is made up of sociopaths. In my simplistic view of things, I call these people “takers.” And if there is a hell, they have first-class reservations on the bus headed there.

Five examples:

Stolen Valor Pretending to be a veteran. In most cases, this is done to extract cash from sympathetic individuals, but sometimes the takers do it simply to pump their own egos.

Preying on the Valorous Many reputable businesses offer discounts to veterans, but there are also those dirtbags who market themselves as “helping the vet” when it’s actually a sleazy ploy for personal monetary gain.

Handicapped Parking Thieves There are many sufferers of disabilities whose symptoms are not obvious to the casual observer, so please don’t take this as license to confront anyone who doesn’t “look handicapped” to you, but one of the lowest forms of pond scum is the perfectly healthy person who parks in spots reserved for those who really need them.

Flock Fleecers Whether they stand at the podium or hang out in the congregation, we’ve all seen them―using religious status or the sympathy of fellow parishioners to make a buck. It’s a special kind of icky.

Forgetful Borrowers I’ve heard it said that if you want to get rid of somebody, just lend them money. Oh, how I wish it were that easy. And I’m still trying to remember who has the Little Giant ladder I leant out last year. May the “borrower” use it to climb down into the pit of eternal…

Well, like I said, nobody’s perfect, and most people try and do the right thing.

Over the Prickett Fence is a column in In&Out Magazine.

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